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Monster #259 — Aisle 3


I was at the grocery store one time and this older Indian man stopped me and asked if I knew where the Splenda was. I directed him to the aisle where I thought it would be and went on shopping. A few aisles later I saw him asking another customer if he knew where the Splenda was. He gave him the same directions. Then, as I was standing in line at the check out I heard him roaming through the aisles, pushing his cart calling out, “Does anybody know where the Splenda is?” The Indian accent only made the whole thing better.

Now every time I pass the Splenda at the store I wonder if he ever found it.

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  1. Totally random, and I love it! Poor man. I hope he found his Splenda. Actually, I hope we all eventually find our splenda.

    Every once in a while, I listen to this song, and in the middle of the song, the guy says a little monologue, and I can’t understand all of it, because he’s kind of mumbling in this heavy Scottish brogue or whatever. But while I was reading this, it was odd, but I imagined THIS was the monologue in the song. I can hear the music now….

  2. Voz says:

    It’s kind of a universal thing I guess. Indian, Scottish, Martian — we all need our splenda. But is the finding of the splenda or the search what it’s all about? Hmm…

  3. Jason Curtis says:

    Here’s my grocery store story (try to say that 10 times fast).

    I was in line at the check out, and an older woman was in front of me. She had an opened bottle of CLR Bathroom and Kitchen Cleaner which she was not satisfied with and wanted her money back. Her reason, and I quote – “It didn’t remove the stains from my toilet.”

    I experienced a mixed bag of emotions, from the desire to burst out laughing, to utterly disgust, and finally a morbid sense of curiosity. Plus, I wondered why on earth she didn’t give another reason as to why she wasn’t satisfied with the product.

  4. Jason Curtis says:

    …should read “utter disgust”.

    I don’t want you to think I ain’t no good at English.

  5. frankenbonnet says:

    I love the name Splenda. It’s like Glenda, but prettier.

    I love the pony-tail. And the pony’s concerned eyebrow.

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